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TURBOJUGEND BATTLE DRUNKS
   

DIRTY MOTHERFUCKERS ON A DOWNWARD SPIRAL

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ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 21, 2009

 

 

 

There is no definition for Battle Drunk, it is something you have to live and sometimes barely survive to understand.

Turbojugend Battle Drunks exists as an autonomous entity dedicated to the facilitation of perversely un-sober living. There is no president to oversee this chapter. The founding Mothers, equal in our debauchery, are the "Mother Drunks" and our official positions are all "Ministers of Inebriation".
New members must be sponsored or voted in by a Mother Drunk. All new applicants begin with the title of "drunkard" until they demonstrate their thirst to the satisfaction of a Mother. Drunkards must get completely destroyed.Pants around ankles, skirts over heads, flyin' the fuck you flag to the world, unapologetically hammered with one or all of us,after which point they may be promoted to the position of Minister of Inebriation. If we have already partied hard with someone and feel they are truly an inspiration to the term Battle Drunk they may earn the title of Minister of Inebriation without scrutiny. International and remote applicants may meet the basic requirements by sending a photo of yourself wasted, filthy, half naked, flippin' the bird, covered in booze drunk to unclespank@bellsouth.net.
Sound like a place for you? Apply today!

 

 

 

The 13 Rules of Battle Drunks

1. You must have no fear of dying alone and you must state this loudly when drinking!
2. You must take a fearless moral inventory at some point during the course of a bender.
3. Judgment will absolutely not be tolerated!!
4. You must personally invent a drink that ends with the word "eraser".
5. No interventions, no rehab, no way!
6. Breakfast booze is the best way to greet the day! "Fuck you Sunshine!"
7. Pants are always optional!.
8. Never sip or nurse what you can bong, shotgun or chug.
9. You are the boss of you, and you must state this loudly when drinking!
10.Stunt drinking is the sport of kings and you must participate.
11.Battle Drunks are forbidden from turning down drinks!
12.You must never apologize for anything!
13.Stay functional and stay real!

 

 

 

GLOBAL DRUNKEN SAILOR ALLIANCE:

TJ Battle Drunks has started an alliance with TJ Drunkness too spread global drunkenness and debauchery for all Turbojugends worldwide. The Battle Drunks in North America and Drunkness in Europe. Raising hell, and closing bars, together we shall cover the world in our own sick!

TURBOJUGEND BATTLE DRUNKNESS!!!

     
 

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